Welcome to my blog

09.18.17

I created this site to share my perspective on life and other topics, and what I have learned on my own journey of Self discovery. 

Each of us travels a different journey of Self discovery - one that uniquely fits who we are - but all roads eventually lead to the Truth of Self understanding.  We may never learn the actual Truth of why we are here, which appears to be a question that has an infinite variety of possible answers.  But it is not necessary to understand WHY we are here in order to realize who we ARE.

Your perspective and your journey will be different from mine - this is by design.   However, we might see things similarly enough to share a pretty close understanding.  I call this "alignment."  But your lens is as specific to you as mine is to me - so don't be fooled into thinking that even if someone completely agrees with you, they ever really understand how you see something!

However, my journey, and your journey, and the journey of every awakened person who has ever attempted to share his or her wisdom with others seems to share certain common experiences.  How we language those experiences, our individual frames of reference and the sequence in which they occur unfold in a way that is unique to each of us, resulting in different explanations for what we are experiencing.

Only you know the answers to your own questions!  Ask 1000 people and you get 1000 opinions.  But in the end only you can decide what you believe.

This figure shows the intersection of three dimensions of life - Imagination, Self alignment or Integrity, and Mastery.  I believe when we live at the intersection of those 3, in balance, we create beauty.

We are quite literally the Creator in an infinite variety of forms creating - simultaneously - as a whole being and as individual parts.


Our human habits, patterns and beliefs block us from knowing who we really are. Why "We" (the big We, All That Is, which will be capitalized in this essay) exist this way is unknown. Perhaps it was as simple as so we could have this type of experience. We exist as both "All That Is" (what I call the "Self") and the infinite number of little "selfs" (you, me and everyone else) at the same time. Most of these little selfs are unaware of the relationship, of who We actually are, until they become aware of it, through a process we call "awakening." Awakening is actually a process of removing the blocks and shadows - the habits, patterns and beliefs, that prevent our knowing who We really are. These habits, patterns and beliefs create the illusion of being separate, individual beings.  We are allowed to live in this illusion of separation because we are endowed with free will. 

Free will is a result of having a mind.  Plants have no mind and therefore follow  a pre-ordained pattern of existence.  They are a seed that sprouts, creates new seeds, dies and replicates itself through this mechanism over and over.  Humans, however developed a mind in evolutionary course.  The mind was a distinct advantage in our survival because it was able to make choices, learn from mistakes and communicate with others.  This form of communication eventually became an inner dialogue as well as an outer dialogue. Through this process we began to form an identity.  Through the mind, we also developed the ability to have choice.  Freedom of choice is the same thing as free will.

In order to have free will, we must have an identity - in fact, a unique identity.  If it were not unique, our will would be linked to the will of something or someone else.  Therefore, we must be unique if we have our own free will, and not the will of another.  As a result of having free will and uniqueness, we have an identity, and along with identity develops an ego.  Because of free will, identity and ego, we experience "separation" - separation from each other, and separation from our Self.  In other words, because we have a mind, we experience ourselves as separate from everything and everyone else.  In addition, it's quite possible that humans evolved a form of eyesight that eliminates the noise of the energy that connects us all in order to see what might kill us. Those humans that survived and led to those of us alive today have vision that filters out a lot of what's around us in order to stay alive!

Having a mind is not the same things as having consciousness.  Having mind means we can think.  Having a pre-frontal cortex means we can think rationally.  However, any human, regardless of the capabilities of the mind, is viewed as being conscious, and most of us would reasonably say animals are conscious.  And maybe reptiles...and birds...and even ants.  A few of us would say plants are conscious.  If you look at the way trees grow so their roots and branches always touch other trees whenever possible it could even be possible that trees are not only concscious, but networked consciousness.  Regardless of where you draw that line, it's impossible to know how to really differentiate levels of consciousness, and given we are a single energy field, which I will write about another time, I would suggest we are all a single consciousness, with humans being one creature that has a spefically well developed attribute, a mind that does a whole variety of things for us.  

An awakened person sees the relationship of himself to the true Self, that we are all One being without exception, and upon seeing that, realizes that we can now begin operating as One again - in alignment - if we choose to. This is akin to an individual cell in our body becoming aware it is part of you or me. The cell exists and works to do its job, to fulfill its purpose, but now it does so with awareness. It is now aware that it is both an individual cell and also part of a larger body or Being and therefore wishes to act in accordance with that "larger" being's best interest. Both must thrive for either to thrive. In this symbiotic relationship the cell can send information and receive information from the rest of the system. And in deciding to be part of the larger body, the cell "surrenders" its will to that of the entire system most of the time, occasionally taking a lead role and transmitting out its wishes for others to follow. Cells that go off track are called "cancer" cells. Cells may also specialize to create systemic efficiency and harmony. Some cells become heart cells, others brain cells, others make up the liver. Which cell is better?

By staying "clean" or aligned (acting with integrity) we facilitate the communication of our larger Self to our smaller self - the small self being our ego identity - or simply, you or me. With alignment we can hear the Self tell us our role, and guide us to our contribution to the creative desires of the larger, deeper consciousness.

We, as clear-channeled individuals, can communicate Truth from the deeper Self to other parts of this deep Self ("ourSelf" which is all of us together), those other parts being comprised of other individuals. This expression of our "truth" is what resonates with others when we speak authentically. Authenticity is different than Truth. Authenticity is the truthful expression of one's views, perspective or feelings. Each person may have different versions of the "truth" but whether he or she shares his or her truth authentically is detectable from person to person.

Truth (unequivocal truth such as the statement "I am,") comes from our own deeper consciousness, the Self, not the ego mind that we identify with. Since we are actually part of the Self split into infinite parts, the mind and body are tools to use in the expression of our deeper intention, that of the true Self.

What guides us to communicate and to create is either aligned with our Self or it is not. As individuals, our guide is either the small self, or ego, or the true Self, or Atman. We were given free will so we can create freely.  It must be our choice to surrender our will to the Self - otherwise we would be automatons, robots - simply doing the bidding of something doing the thinking.  Integrating those two elements of egoic self and God Self results in what some call "co-creation." Communicating the Truth of who We are to others can be framed as awakening them.

The myths, legends and stories of human history are all ways for us to remember who We really are while We have this experience of separation. They are the signposts of the process of remembering. They are the clues for remembering to remember. Since we are really one being, experiencing this time and space separately, this separation is an illusion and not something we need to fear. The Truth is We are already, always have been and always will be Whole. We are having a dream or illusion of separation that is simply another way for the Self to exist - to create and experience our creation.

My Perspective: The Self and our relationship as individuals

The journey to Self is a journey inward.  Seeking outside of ourSelf for the answers is the basis of science.  It can explain the mechanics of the physical world, and is a language we can use to describe the mind's understanding of this experience of life.  But our experience is more than mind - it is also body and spirit.  We have oriented almost exclusively to the 5 senses and the mind as the only framing for "reality."  As we go inward for understanding we begin to realize there is much more happening in both our inner worlds and outer worlds than we ever realized. 

Perspective: Who's right?

  • Each of us has a unique lens. This is by design - we evolved into this over millions of years.  Our DNA is unique to each of us and our experiences and perceptions are similarly unique. Therefore no one else shares our experience of the world. As such, we each play a role in the creation of the collective conscious.
  • Think of it this way, if you wanted to experience as much as possible, everything possible in fact, and you were the Creator of all that is and as the Creator, had a deeply founded drive to create in three-dimensions, one way to do it would be to split yourself into as many other beings as possible and have each being or entity experience something different. At the same time, the larger being, the Creator who split itself, would be experiencing all of those unique experiences simultaneously. This is, in fact, how the universe is experiencing itself. A simultaneous exchange of information and experience from every point in the universe to every other point in the universe. This is what is meant by a holographic universe. Every point contains all of the information of every other point at the same time.  
  • And if each of is unique, different, by design, how can we ever say what is right for someone else? We can offer our lens but it isn't anyone else's. and we can develope rules for working together, for creating cooperation and coherence at group levels. But this doesn't change the fact that no one else will ever see the world exactly as you do. The best we can do is find ways to communicate our perspectives and believe we see it similarly enough to another person that we call it the same. Even then we don't know it for sure.
  • Our perspectives change over time. What we "know" to be "true" becomes different as we gain more experience, learn something new or realize that a belief we have held to be true for a long period of time no longer works. The world was flat was a belief held by humans for a very long time. Until it shifted and we realized that was not true. We didn't have the perspective that would allow us to realize how false our belief was - but when we gained that perspective we realized we had believed a falsehood.

Fractal "co-creation" - One splits into many.   Alignment allows many to work as One.

Never Stop Believing You Can... and You Will

last updated 10/05/17

While we are all trained that knowledge is king, "knowing" something may ultimately leave you trapped in it.  Not-Knowing, or un-learning has been my path to growth.  The minute I know something, my beliefs become fixed and therefore self-perpetuating.  

Which comes first, a perception of something or the belief about? The perception of anything comes before the brain can process a thought about it. The perception is signaled to the brain, which then searches through its memory and beliefs using a heuristic I call a "pattern."  I say most often because if we take a random walk down memory lane we may find lots of beliefs or knowledge we defined for ourselves as well as a whole range of feelings that get triggered by those memories or beliefs.  But if we aren't in that mode and just trucking along through life, fairly present, we perceive something "out there" and then we search and grind away the mental gears until we tell ourselves a little story about what we are seeing or hearing or feelign.

The mind is a logic process (the pre-frontal is anyway) and the mind search process continues until it resolves to something either being True or False. Since the mind doesn't like "unknown" or "null," it generally searches until it can find an explanation where the answer is True or has exhausted possible Trues until it gets to a False it believes.   This process results in a belief we hold to be true, which is knowledge, or "knowing" something. I see a round object, and ask myself "what is that?" I learned years ago that the object is a ball and by searching memory (subconsciously) I get a return answer of "ball." This is true to me and I "know" it's a ball.

If it happens to be a perfect hologram of a ball, I would only realize my belief that it's a ball is false if I tried to throw it. Since it's an image, I can't throw it and as I attempt to do so, I realize my belief was wrong. It was also impossible to realize that it was wrong until I did something to challenge or further my belief that it's a ball, like pick it up.

All knowledge is belief. It's the result of the brain processing experiences and tying them back to other experiences, using memory or simply accepting a fact as told to us by something else, like learning in elementary school. At any time, what I know is subject to question since it's a belief, and I must be prepared that anything I know might be false. The only truth I can be sure of is existing or Being.  Some would say "I exist," but that may not be Truth in the deepest sense.  By adding any qualifier to exist, such as "I exist" we immediately reinforce the notion of separation with the word "I."  This qualifier asserts itself as True when I become my identity, which we talked about earlier being the root of our illusion of separation.  This sounds sort of absurd to say that "I exist" isn't a true statement.  So use it if you wish.  But if you're seeking an understanding of Unity, play around with it a bit, because the "I" you identify with is the one that keeps you separate. Interestingly, many say that the name of God in the Bible is "I am." 

Have you ever seen a baby laugh over and over again at the same peek-a-boo game? The baby laughs every time because it is surprised and delighted to find mommy behind those hands. It doesn't "know" enough to figure out the game. He just laughs and is delighted every time the same thing happens because to the baby it's all a new experience.

The point is, if I only operate from a place of what I know, and it's impossible to "know" whether something I believe is actually true or fals, I could, at any time, "know" or believe something that's false. If we never challenge our beliefs, we will operate from a place of knowledge that is most likely based on falsehoods, and we run the significant risk of living our lives believing in lies we have told ourselves or been told by other people or institutions or systems of belief.  In other words, our truth evolves over time because our understanding changes from new experiences and questioning the status quo. To grow and find deep Truths we must question our beliefs and knowledge and seek the unknown.  This process of constantly questioning what we know and believe means shedding layer after layer of self understanding until we get to the core.  And then again, we must question ourselves or we stagnate. We and only we decide when we stop growing by locking ourselves into beliefs and knowledge that we ultimately refuse to quesion.

The more we rely on memory, the more we "know." The more we know, the less room there is for growth. Without growth, we are no longer living consciousness. We are simply patterns and memories, which are like rocks in the river.  If enough rocks build up, we dam up the flow of life.  We sacrifice our present to the past, recreating it over and over again in every moment, rather than looking at each experience as if for the first time and staying in that timeless place - Now.

Be careful of what you know.

The Boundary of Now

The Boundary of Now. 

Now is the moment we live in.   The Boundary of Now is the edge of creation – each of us creating simultaneously Now based on what we are feeling Now.  As the Boundary of Now moves through “time,” the present becomes the past and the imagined becomes the physical. 

The physical world is created at the Boundary of Now.  Layer upon layer is added or erased from the physical in each moment of creation.  Ahead of the boundary is emptiness – pure potential – being created by the feelings of the Source.   Behind it is the past.  The memories and the physical existence already imagined and experienced.

Perhaps we as the Source chose to experience separateness and physicality – so we feel separate and physical.  Even in this state of Being, we still create as One – it just a One that is comprised of feelings that are experienced as separate in a physical world.

As we align with the Source, we create from a place of alignment with the Source.   If I am aligned with the Source at all times, I create from inspiration of the Source at all times.  As we align, we help others align, acting like powerful magnets.  As I align, others around me feel the shift and align, too. For an “individual,” the ability to allow a feeling to pass through is very powerful – by allowing a feeling to pass instead of trapping it, or attaching to it, creation becomes intentional.  I no longer create based on feelings caused by externalities – I create from feelings that emanate from my alignment with the Source.

Enjoy the Now.  We will not always have physical bodies – we are transcending the need overall, and death certainly transcends the physical experience.  However, we may miss the physical.   The feelings and sensations and heaviness - the sights, sounds and tastes. The sense of Time.  These are the experiences of the physical world.  They are precious.  Stay in them and be grateful for them.  Experience them fully – notice as much as possible. Other things will come to pass soon enough.  For Now, this is my experience – so continue to remove anything that blocks me from being fully part of the experience.

Fully present at the Boundary of Now.  Free of the mind, aware of the physical, in the moment.  Breathing.  At this moment, that feels like living. 

October 24, 2016

The Paradox of Self-Acceptance.

I had a really interesting insight about self-acceptance while walking this morning, deeper than previous understandings, which I have been contemplating for some time.  The notion is this:  what is, IS.  In other words, discovering the programming and the patterns that drive us when we aren’t operating from the place of intuition or inspiration is powerful and interesting because they give us some context for the way we behave and the outcomes that arise as a result.  However, it is not productive, necessary or True to blame oneself or criticize what IS.  That is like looking at the sky, saying it’s Blue, understanding the color comes from the reflection of the light off the surface of all of the water and then spending all your time hating it because it’s not Orange.

It is blue.  You can call it orange, but that doesn’t make it different.   You can imagine it differently, but in the case of the sky, that may not change much. 

However, with ourselves, we can imagine ourself differently and we can change.   There might be patterns or programming that are very deep, perhaps some can’t be changed, I don’t know.  But the idea that we can choose to be different and yet still need to accept who we are in the moment - exactly as we are - is very important. 

Choosing to change is a form of creation.  And self-acceptance is recognition of the Truth.  They work hand in hand.  Trying to change yourself when you are lying to yourself about who you are seems absurd.  I want to change this dog, which is really a cat, into a mouse.  Huh?

The hardest situations are the ones where we decide that we don’t like what we see in the mirror – we fear accepting the Truth because we judge it.  And when we judge ourselves, we lie to ourselves.  Good and bad, wrong and right, are mostly functions of the perspective or lens we are using to examine the situation.  Therefore, if good can be bad, and bad can be good – they are probably not Truth, which is immutable.  So the judgments are false, not True.

If the Judge of our mind comes out and starts issuing rulings about the “good” or “bad” of what IS we might ask ourself how we got into the situation we are in at this time.  That can be really interesting and might help us change.  We may also try simply accepting what is and deciding we would like to try it differently, without figuring out the programming or the pattern.  Perhaps the pattern is necessary to identify and resolve when we repeatedly find ourself in the same place.  Otherwise it’s just the back story, the past.   Awareness of anything is powerful.  So awareness of patterns may be powerful, but I’m not convinced it’s necessary to change.

However, self-acceptance in the Now is necessary to change because without Truth about our current state of being, we are changing something false – which implies we are changing into something false.  So acknowledging the truth is essential.  

And what’s the big deal anyway?  The past is over, it got us to the place we are today, in this moment.  If this moment is wonderful, I can be grateful for all of the past and realize I have a choice to change.  If this moment is hell, I can be grateful for all of the past and realize I have a choice to change.  We are always creating the pathway forward.  Is it a circle, where we keep seeing the same things over and over because we keep bringing the feelings of the past into the present without letting them go?  Or is it in a new direction -  a new path forward?  

We create our new path in each moment of our existence.  Hating the Self, or equivalently Self-denial (denial of Self is denial of Truth), is nothing but the prison imposed by the Judge we have let run our lives.  The Judge doesn’t even exist!  He’s a character in our psyche.  It’s like letting Bugs Bunny run our life.  A fiction, a cartoon, an imaginary character that we say “knows” the Truth of good and bad, wrong and right without even existing other than in our imagination.  We know Truth when we feel it.  We know whether the path we are on is the right one when our life works, when it feels good and when we are happy.  When we are in hell we have created hell for ourselves and by recognizing that we are there we can create something else – heaven.

So, in order to grow, we need to fully accept who we are now.  It is the basis of Truth and the context from which we create going forward.   We write the future in the Now and the past is nothing but previous chapters we have already finished.  Why go back and keep re-reading the same old passages about yourself over and over?  It’s easy to copy and paste the past into the present, but it’s not very fun or very creative, and it may just create a circular path forward.  Close the chapter and move on.  Truth IS.  False is not.